Starting with my first tabletop Kickstarter project in 2012, I’ve believed that one of the core purposes of crowdfunding–and many successful game companies–is to build community.
But it’s a bit of a misnomer, as I realized while talking to Cami Ostman at The Narrative Project in December. She brought up the topic of building community, and I started listing ways to find and invite an audience to your sphere. That’s where the “building” comes in.
The Narrative Project
Cami clarified that to her, building community is much more about what happens with the people who have already elected to join the community. How do you engage with them? Where and how do they engage with each other? What do you build together with your community? And so on.
This perspective really clicked with me, as I truly want the Stonemaier Games community to remain more than just a nebulous concept or buzzword. Yes, I always want newcomers to feel welcome, and I love popping into random conversations on our Facebook groups and witnessing healthy discourse on Board Game Geek.
But I just don’t want to become complacent, and I needed a bit of a nudge to experience what community feels like. That’s where Buy Nothing enters the picture.
Buy Nothing
I was in Virginia for Christmas a few weeks ago to visit my parents, sister, and brother. At least a dozen times over the course of the visit, my mom would tell me about an act of generosity from her Buy Nothing group.
Buy Nothing, as Mom describes it, is a community of people who post on a local-specific group page when they have something they don’t need/want or if they need/want something they don’t have.
My parents have enjoyed their neighborhood Buy Nothing group for a while, but with Dad’s struggle for cancer over the last year, it was particularly moving to see the positive impact the group has had on them. There’s this real sense of connection between the people in this group.
In fact, I kid you not, literally as I was writing the previous paragraph, someone stopped by my parents house to drop off some food and some pajamas her son had grown out of.
Death
The reason I’m at my parents house is that Dad passed away on Thursday morning due to cancer-related complications. The chemo was actually working well, so it was a much more sudden sendoff than we expected, and my last moments with him were on the phone as I frantically packed that morning for the 15-hour drive from St. Louis.
I mention this here because it’s been remarkable to experience what community feels like when someone dies. People have converged upon my parents’ house from all directions, filling it with food, stories, hugs, and simply their presence. They’re here to help, to grieve, and to celebrate Dad’s life.
Meanwhile, I’ve shared some stories about my father on Facebook and Instagram, and I’ve really felt a sense of community from the people who have chimed into the comments to express their condolences or share their connection to my dad.
This includes a wide variety of people, but quite a few of them are in the gaming world. The comments and messages have renewed what I think a community has the potential to be. It can be stories, discussions, questions, and photos…AND it can also be about people helping each other, uplifting each other, and challenging each other in healthy ways that strengthen our connection and our shared passion for bringing joy to tabletops worldwide.
I’m still figuring out what this means in an actionable way, but I just wanted to write about it while I’m in the middle of this process. Community was incredibly important to my dad, as he worked in county government for 37 years. You know those town hall board meetings in the show Parks & Rec? My dad was there to listen, learn, and participate every week (as one of the people running the meetings).
I’d love for his legacy to live on through the communities that are dear to me, just as his face will always live on through his blue Viticulture card (thanks to Charles for honoring him by playing with this combination recently).
I’d love to hear your thoughts about the last time you looked around and felt truly immersed in an amazing community.
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22 Comments on “Building Community: The Narrative Project, Buy Nothing, and Death”
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So sorry to hear your sad news Jamey. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. I’m glad you got to spend time with your parents over Christmas, and that the community are rallying round after your father passed away.
Community is important at the best of times, but its when things are really tough that it matters more than ever. I think that its often doing things together that helps build that sense of community cohesion – whether that’s through the world of games or other hobbies or social activities. The sense of connection that comes from playing games together is why I love playing and designing games so much – and why I think being inclusive and welcoming for all is so important in gaming.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Jamey. My condolences to you and your family.
I’m sorry for your loss Jamey. You’ve been such a big part of why I love this hobby so much and I just wanted to let you know you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Jamey, I’m sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and your family.
I’m very lucky to have been involved in one of the most vibrant communities in the Business Intelligence industry: the community involved in Tableau Software.
The co-founders of the company very strongly believed in ‘markets as conversations’ and did everything to ask all their employees to engage, celebrate, and encourage customers. I was a customer back in 2007 and my career was hugely boosted as a result. I joined the company back in 2011.
Some of our secrets of success are below. I would recommend anyone in the board game industry to consider these:
1. Have an amazing product. If people don’t love what you make, no amount of investment in community will work.
2. Markets are Conversations. This quote is from a 1998 book, The Cluetrain Manifesto. It was a book about the potential of the internet, and they foresaw the power of letting all employees engage with customers. You do this brilliantly with your videos, social channels and blogs.
3. Recognise and reward community. If you take a look at Tableau’s twitter channel, most of it is about our customers. This is intentional. Sure, we could talk about our platform, and share our news stories, but ultimately our success comes from people using the product. I’m very involved in the Arkham Horror LCG community. One thing that frustrates me about FFG’s social channels is that they focus their on their products, not their commuity champions. Imagine if they rewarded and promoted the communities behind their games? It would be huge (and it doesn’t require too much investment). (note: the playing community is different to the reviewing community – I think they have different needs and motivations)
4. Engaged community members build your brand. If a customer says ‘Tableau is amazing’ on LinkedIn, that’s 10x more powerful than us saying it.
5. Open the curtain to the design process. People who love a product LOVE seeing behind the scenes. Design Diaries, consultations, etc. You do this very well. The game brands I follow are the ones who are the most open.
Phew! That was longer than I intended. The prime reason I engage with Stonemaier games is because you are out there, building community.
Best wishes!
Beautifully written, Jamey. People and and community are what keep us going through the highs and lows. I’ve been lucky enough that my father has made it through a lot of health issues and can only imagine what you are going through.
I’d imagine your dad is very proud of the community you have built and the beliefs you have built it on. Once again, sorry for your loss, and I hope today went as well as it could.
I love the idea that community is a two-way street, not just an open door. Everyone has something to contribute, and encouraging that is beautiful. Personally I have found amazing community on a board game Discord that I never expected. We support one another personally, with a shared love of gaming as our connection point but not our only way of relating.
The Viticulture Mama and Papa brought tears to my eyes. So sweet.
We are sorry for the pain and sadness that has to be experienced when a loved one leaves. We’ve just finished with funeral arrangements ourselves. But I’m glad you are able to be there in person with your family to celebrate your dad’s life.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through the funeral process right now too. I’ll think of you tomorrow when we lay my dad to rest.
I’m so sorry Jamey. I’m glad you feel support. Thanks for sharing. My father’s death was also expected and unexpected at the same time. I will think of you often & wish you well. I’ve been losing my communities lately, family, work and church. I guess my best community is at Saturday morning coffee.
I am so sorry for your loss, Jamey, and for posting a comment on another thread before seeing this post. I admire you for your leadership you’ve shown and the communities you’ve built around us. Your parents must be so proud of you!
Wow Jamey,
Thanks for sharing this article on a very difficult day/time for you. Community is one reason I love board gaming and you obviously got part of your passion there because of that as well.
It’s been a busy day with family today, but I just wanted to chime in to say that I really appreciate these comments, both about my dad and the communities you connect with. Thank you!
Oh, Jamey, I’m so sorry for your loss. I will pray for the peaceful repose of his soul, and that you can find comfort in the hope of eternal life through Christ Jesus. God reward your dad for caring for you when you needed it most.
You are the only thing I know about your dad, but a tree is known by it’s fruit. He was a good man. Of this I am certain.
I’m sorry to hear of your lose and thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts about these issues, Jamey.
You and yours are in our thoughts, Jamey. Sending you all the love and well wishes we can. I am sure your father was an amazing person to have raised someone who has done so much to support his community and those around him.
Hi Jamey, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this difficult time. Your blogs, especially this one, resonates with me as the involvements with various communities have been strengthened throughout the pandemic. I had to find new ways of making connections virtually and a lot of them have been around the communities built around the SM games. I do crave the personal connections through communities and I hope that does come back soon. Given that, I am thankful for SM as a company, you as a person, and the beautiful games that your company produces. We are a product of our parents and the ideals and values that your father has instilled in you will live on through your games and your company, and I look forward to the “what’s next” and continuing to explore and enjoy the games and communities built around them. Cheers!
My condolences and well wishes to you and your family Jamey. One of the most recent times I felt a true sense of community was hosting a small (15 person) boardgame gathering focused on game design. It was awesome to spend 3 days immersed in playtesting and discussion of games with other folks who are as passionate about game design as myself. It was a chance to inspire, learn, play and create together. One of the most memorable parts was a design challenge where we got several prompts for mechanics, components, theme and were randomly assigned to a small group to create a brand new game. I also love my Buy Nothing group and am always looking for more ways to create and be part of communities. Thanks for sharing your thougths on this!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Jamey. I hope for peace, love, community, and healing in the days to come.
Sorry about your dad Jamey. As a well spent day brings happy sleep so life well used brings happy death.
I’m so sorry about your dad passing away Jamey. It must have been a shock since it was sudden. I know what it is to suddenly lose our dad, as mine passed away 2 years ago from an heart attack. I shared that with you at the time (I think it was when your dad started his fight against his cancer and you talked about it). You were there for me reading my comment about it at the time and sharing my grief, so be sure I’m here for you now, like many people will be for you. All my thoughts are toward you and your family. Take care of yourself.
I’m sorry for your loss, Jamey. Your father lives on in you, which we see with every video, word, and game. We appreciate what he’d done in raising a boy we admire. You have a community, which will help you through your grief. Condolences.
Thank you for sharing this story about your Dad.
While I’m truly grateful to be part of the “gaming community” in general, one of the warmest and greatest communities to be part of is the “1-Player Guild” on BoardGameGeek. It’s a truly wonderful community of great people. We all love solo gaming, but we also love telling stories to each other, listening to each other, and giving each other advice. It’s literally the only place on the internet where I know I can ask _anything_. I won’t get judged by my question, I will only get helpful or empathic answers. It’s also a great community to play non-solo board games on BGA. And everyone is welcome. Thank you so much, fellow 1PG’ers. Every single day, I’m thankful to be part of that wonderful guild.