Why I Quit Twitter (It’s Not You; It’s Me) – Stonemaier Games

Why I Quit Twitter (It’s Not You; It’s Me)

About a month ago, I deactivated my Twitter account (@jameystegmaier). I haven’t regretted the decision even for a moment.

This isn’t about Elon Musk or the general state of social media or Twitter itself. It also really isn’t about other Twitter users. It’s about me: I realized that I’m not my best self on Twitter. So I quit.

I try to be a kind, positive, loving person (emphasis on try). I try to be a force for good, someone who welcomes, elevates, and includes others. I want to bring joy to people. That’s my goal. But like all aspirations, I don’t always succeed.

Occasionally I identify enablers that consistently impede that goal, and if possible, I remove them. That’s exactly what I realized about Twitter.

This realization stemmed from a moment in early October when I replied to a tweet from someone who unknowingly leaked some information about a Stonemaier product. I tweeted that I would appreciate the opportunity to reveal our own products. It wasn’t an overtly mean tweet, but there was an underlying tone of shame and passive-aggression to it, which several people pointed out by tweeting back at me.

My first instinct (internally–I didn’t reply to any of the other tweets) was to dismiss the criticisms. Who were they to pile on? Why couldn’t they relate on a human level to my eagerness to make the big reveal myself?

But then I realized the truth: Those other Twitter users weren’t the problem. They were right, and I was frustrated because I didn’t like the part of myself who made a passive-aggressive tweet instead of embracing the unexpected buzz. I was the problem.

I sent an apology to the original person, which would end up being my final tweet. When I reflected on the experience–which really bugged me for hours–I realized that it wasn’t an isolated situation. Most of my biggest knee-jerk reactions that I instantly regretted over the last 5+ years on social media were on Twitter.

It wasn’t until I identified the common denominator (Twitter) that it even occurred to me that I could choose to not be on Twitter. Marketing is a huge part of my job, and Twitter is such a big part of the modern world. Could I really just stop seeing and replying to tweets?

But then I counted all the other forms of social media where I can still reach anyone and anyone can reach me publicly at any time: Facebook (page and groups), Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, BoardGameGeek, the Stonemaier Games website, and Discord. Heck, even the @stonemaiergames Twitter account is still active (managed by Joe). Scratching one from the list isn’t a problem.

So I deactivated my Twitter account.

Am I a better person since leaving Twitter? Not really–I’m still me. I still have plenty of weaknesses, flaws, and shortcomings, including the occasional passive-aggression. I’m just no longer on a platform that seemed to all-too-easily activate the worst parts of me, giving me the healthy space to work on my shortcomings instead of enabling them.

I’ve debated writing about this at all, as I want anything I share here to add value to you. That’s the whole point of this blog. But I realized this: It took me a long time to admit that I wasn’t being my best self, identify the source of the problem, and remove myself from that platform. I want you to also be your best self, so maybe this epiphany will resonate with you.

In other words, if there is a place that enables a weakness that has a negative impact on you and the people around you–passive aggression, snark, cruelty, toxicity–stop going to that place. Or at least know you have the choice to stop.

Twitter was that place for me, and it may be for you too. As Marques Brownlee mentioned in a recent video, Twitter is an incredible platform where you can reach and connect with almost anyone, to hear a variety of perspectives outside of your echo chamber, and to express yourself to the world. But it’s also a platform where people frequently bully, harass, and pile on.

I mentioned this topic on a livecast a few weeks ago, and someone summed it up really well: “In unmoderated spaces, the internet tends to depersonalize the other, creates a certain anonymity wall of protection, and decrease the distance between impulse and expression. In other words, it’s easier to say our worst thoughts and the cost seems lower.”

I think this topic is particularly important for entrepreneurs and content creators, as we’re directly serving a specific audience. I want to be my best self for Stonemaier fans and followers–not for optics or appearances, but because that’s what they deserve. They deserve the best version of Jamey.

I’m curious about what you think about all this. Have you ever identified a place, person, or thing that enabled a part of yourself that you aren’t proud of? What did you do, and are you glad you took action?

***

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63 Comments on “Why I Quit Twitter (It’s Not You; It’s Me)

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  1. You can choose not to vilify the Twitter platform, and that’s probably the right choice for a blog post, but the rest of us can do it. Twitter seems likely to be a substantial net negative for humanity, and if its new owner drives it into the ground, then good riddance. It’s not a good method of communication, its interface is a mess for any thoughtful reading, and the results speak for themselves. You might own the knee-jerk reactions that come out, but there’s a reason that Twitter is the specific platform that’s worth staying away from.

  2. This was helpful for me to read, as I’ve been reassessing my own use of social media platforms, including Twitter. Thanks for continuing to share your experiences here, especially the more vulnerable ones.

    1. Thank you, Brian! I wish you the best in processing what’s best for you and those who are impacted by you.

  3. It’s just interesting and even a little sad that people have been made to feel like they aren’t allowed to express all of their inner selves, including their worst side. Being negative, skeptical, blunt and confrontational are just as important to survival and expression as being considerate, empathetic, reasonable and polite. You can sometimes be a lot of both at once, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Suppressing any part of yourself that society has deemed unhealthy is unhealthy in itself. People are different for a reason, and we’re still just animals. Twitter is an interesting experiment and experience to see what people can really be like, and it’s something you’d rather know than not know. After not having any social media accounts since 2014, I don’t miss any of them at all, but only because I value interaction more with people willing to show all of their sides, not just their best. It all just felt too phony and honestly not revealing enough.

  4. These are the very reasons I never really got on Twitter in the first place (I have an account but haven’t touched in years and am thinking of deleting it). I genuinely love thoughtful and productive debate, but I realised back on YouTube that thoughtful and productive rarely happens online – much less on Twitter.

    So far I’ve almost always been able to distance myself from people or places that brought out the worst in me by just leaving, and I’ve never regretted that. The times I got stuck my coping mechanism was to distance myself mentally and stop caring – which, while not the worst thing ever, still isn’t something I want to keep around (fortunately those situations have always been temporary).

    I’m glad you were able to leave Twitter despite social media being such a large part of your job, and the fact that you were able to identify the problem (and recognise it as such) in the first place is fantastic. I really hope this change keeps working out great for you both personally and professionally, you deserve all the best!

    1. Giulia: I think it’s awesome that you’ve been able to figure out the people and places that bring out the worst in you and distance yourself from them–thank you for sharing that!

  5. Hi Jamey,
    I wholeheartedly agree. I tend to think of bite-sized, fast-paced social media like Twitter and Facebook as digital telepathy. Like the other commenter you mentioned said, the medium affords and encourages our raw, unfiltered thoughts. I left Facebook years ago for that reason (and that was before all the data privacy controversy). I started seeing posts by friends and family in which they weren’t their best selves, and it began affecting how I viewed them in everyday life–I suppose it was akin to waking up as Charles Xavier and being bombarded with everyone’s stray thoughts.

    Additionally, while I didn’t post much myself, I felt that the medium also encouraged communication as performance. For example, if a close friend would post on my wall, I’d then feel obligated to respond there rather than just “offline” in Messenger. It was odd to be interacting “in public” like that, particularly when the conversation seemed personal to just us. I quickly grew to resent that influence, as if Facebook were trying to reshape me in its own image rather than to serve as a tool to help me communicate with distant loved ones.

    All that said, it’s important to remember that we aren’t defined by first, knee-jerk thoughts. We also aren’t defined by the the careful personas we craft for ourselves (or which the social medium has subtly crafted for us). Our core beliefs, values, and experiences which temper our intial reactions are a crucial and valid part of who we are.

    Chris

    1. Chris: These are two fascinating thoughts about the rawness of Twitter posts/responses and communication as a performance. I also appreciate you saying that about what actually defines us; the one caveat I’d add is that the way we treat other people is a reflection of who we are. It still doesn’t necessarily define is–like, a person who is grumpy to others before they’ve had their morning coffee isn’t defined as a grumpy person–but it’s important to me that I’m aware of how I treat people in various situations.

  6. FWIW, Twitter foibles aside, the person that you’ve become over the past 5+ years in the public eye has inspired a lot of us.

    To answer your questions, I decided immediately upon entering the game industry in 2020 that playing the role of salesman doesn’t make me feel like I’m being the best version of myself. For one thing, it feels like a conflict of interest (caring about my income sheet vs caring about the other person vs trying to balance both). Moreover, at a deeper level, it feels like I’m making a judgement about how other people should spend their money, and it always feel wrong when I judge other people or their decisions.

    I’m ok with many aspects of marketing. For example, I’m delighted to design games based on interaction with other people, and I’m delighted to share with players and publishers about the games that I create or play. That’s all about being a friend. But I don’t feel ok with *promoting* in the sense of advertising, persuading, or selling people to buy stuff.

    I could conceivably regret the decision eventually from a financial standpoint (as some people will never buy if you don’t manipulate them into feeling a need), but I certainly don’t regret the decision emotionally or morally. At the end of days, I expect, the latter factors will weigh on my heart more heavily than the former.

    A quick Googling dug up an article (Lesson #100 from 27 May 2014), where I think I read you wrote something similar (as you did in your book). You frame the decision not to promote as a smart business move.

    Beyond rational considerations, goes promotion generate feelings in you and, if so, are they anything like mine? For example, as you’re doing each Wednesday’s video-livecast, do you ever have any emotions or conscious thoughts about the extent to which you’re promoting vs building friendships?

    Thanks for reading this tome of a reply. It’s a topic very near and dear to my heart!

    1. I really appreciate this comment, as it reminds me of something I try to do (and not do): I’m not here to sell. I’m here to create joy and add value to people. I’ve found framing it that way to be really helpful, as there are plenty of ways to share something you’re passionate about without the goal of selling/promoting it. That’s very much the case on my weekly livecasts. I’m not there to sell or promote anything; I’m there to connect with people in real time.

  7. I have no trouble showing you sympathy. But can you show me sympathy? I’m also human, just like you, and I make mistakes that I learn from.

    Someone kicked me off the Wingspan group on Facebook for expressing my feelings about replacing plastic eggs with wooden eggs. It was a one-time, one-post occurence by me, with no warning or explanation why I was kicked, or whether or not it’s a temp-ban or a perma-ban. Felt unfair and like a knee-jerk move. I can understand that my post was negative, but like you I was also just sharing my feelings. There was no heads-up about this material change, no dedicated place to talk about it beforehand, and no work-around for people who don’t like them. Just in one diary update the wooden eggs were going to be the standard going forward, whether we liked it or not, and the diary update was the only place to talk about it. Some people don’t like wooden eggs when they’ve begun collecting the eggs in plastic. People who have later asked for plastic eggs are being shown no sympathy and are reminded of the reasoning. The reasoning for the material change means little to someone who’s been collecting plastic eggs since the game came out.

    Like you’ve said in the past, “you’re just a human”. So am I. I also make mistakes and learn from them. I don’t go around seeking revenge by hating on Stonemaier and rating all your games down just because of this situation. I still bought the new expansion and the Nesting Box like planned, and will continue to buy games from Stonemaier. But if you’re asking for sympathy, you need to be able to give it at times as well.

    1. Steinar: Thank you for sharing your thoughts about our moderation guidelines. Just like the guidelines for commenting here (which you’ve followed), we have guidelines in our groups. If you were removed from a group, it’s because you violated those rules. It’s often not the content of the posts or comments that result in removal; it’s the how that content is expressed.

      It sounds like you’ve had some time to reflect on what you said and how you said it, and unfortunately there’s nothing in your comment here that indicates that the way you said what you did was not the appropriate way to express yourself in a constructive, compassionate way in the group. In light of what I wrote in the above article, have you considered that this is a “it’s not you, it’s me situation”? I wish you the best in figuring that out, and trust me, I’m figuring it out as I go too. In that way, I very much sympathize with you.

      For anyone reading this comment who is curious about the eco-friendly change to the eggs, this summer we stopped making plastic eggs (which came as a surprise to many people who thought they were wooden this whole time) and started making only wooden eggs, which are exactly the same shape, size, and color as the plastic eggs.

      1. I thought me writing “I also make mistakes and learn from them.” would be an indication. But to be clear, I do understand what I wrote was inappropriate, understand the limits better now, and wouldn’t want to write such again. Sorry for what was written.

        In reply to the “exactly the same shape, size, and color” sentence at the end;

        We’ve received Wingspan Asia now and had a look at the eggs. They’re a different weight, more slippery to handle, reflect light differently because they’re painted, don’t sound or feel the same when hitting each other beause they’re wood, and have wooden imperfections (to varying degrees). They just don’t mix seamlessly with plastic eggs and stick out. They’re certainly not a bad product by any means. I’ve even used them exclusively in our Asia games so far for the sake of immersion towards the expansion.

        But just because someone thought the previous Wingspan eggs were wood, it doesn’t make up for the disappointment of those who knew they were plastic and expected plastic going forward.

        Someone on the Stonemaier store seems to understand the importance of material to some people. If I want to purchase the 100 Speckled Eggs for Wingspan from the Stonemaier store, the info on the product page for those reassures me that the 100 eggs are made from the same material as previous eggs (plastic in this case). I assume it was written because someone realized it’s important to people. So it was reckognized as important at one point, but now that the eggs are wood there’s absolutely no sympathy or work-around for people who express “hey, this was important to me”. Some sympathy would for example be an answer like “what do you propose as a solution to provide plastic eggs while at the same time becoming more eco-friendly?”.

        1. The original speckled eggs are plastic, hence why I worded the entry that way. It isn’t about sympathy–it’s about accurately listing the composition of our components. When we’ve sold through our inventory of plastic speckled eggs, that listing on the webstore will be replaced by a similar listing for wooden speckled eggs.

          I appreciate your passion for Wingspan, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to help Wingspan a more eco-friendly product while still retaining a high level of quality, beauty, and compatibility. I hear that you like the plastic eggs, and fortunately you have as many plastic eggs as you’ll ever need to play a game of Wingspan (and if you’re concerned about that, I invite you to buy some plastic speckled eggs while supplies last).

          I hear that you want sympathy, but let’s be clear: I’m not asking for sympathy in my blog post. Sympathy is a privilege, not a right. It’s like if someone came to me and said that they don’t believe that two men can’t love each other or two women can’t love each other, and thus they want my sympathy because we put pink papa cards and blue mama cards in Viticulture World (enabling papa-papa and mama-mama pairings). I cannot reply with sympathy for such a request, as I don’t sympathize with it, just as I don’t sympathize with any form of racism, sexism, exclusion, agism, etc.

        2. Solution #1 – don’t use the wooden eggs. There’s plenty enough plastic eggs for use in the game
          Solution #2 – maybe someone on Etsy will eventually make plastic versions of the newer eggs or you can find someone with a 3d printer that can
          Solution #3 – outside of that, maybe Stonemaier will eventually offer a set of wooden eggs to replace the previous plastic ones.

          At any rate, expecting Stonemaier to accommodate you by continuing to make plastic eggs lacks sympathy for Stonemaier. They want to become a more eco friendly company. Making plastic eggs – in any quantity – defeats that attempt. You also have to consider demand. Even if they would be willing to make plastic eggs, are there enough people like you out there that would buy plastic replacement eggs? And at what price point? Would they be willing to pay a higher price because of it being a niche item produced at lower quantities?

          In other words, you want them to accommodate your specific wants without regard to their business needs. Continuing to hammer on it isn’t going to change the fact that it’s just not a business decision they are willing or able to make.

  8. Thanks for this, Jamey. It is admirable both your dedication to giving people your best self, and desire to improve yourself. Being self reflective is exceedingly difficult, especially being self reflective in a constructive way. I really appreciate the vulnerability of this article, and I really appreciate you and everything that you do.

    1. Thank you, Jasper. I feel a bit awkward receiving any gratitude for this (though I appreciate what you and others have said), as this is literally about me being a less bad person. :)

  9. This is something that lots….and lots… of people should realize. I’ve noticed some very large board game designers go into unhinged rants in a “blood rage” recently and it just turns me off to their products. Social media in general is seemingly a huge issue when it comes to respecting other people. Twitter seems to be the worst of it though.

    1. Tim: I can’t speak for others, but I can say this: My words and actions have an impact not just on me or the people who read/hear them, but also on the people whose livelihoods depend on Stonemaier Games. When I act in such a way that people give up on our games because of me, that has a direct impact on people I care deeply about and am responsible for. I really try that to keep in mind whenever I feel an unhinged rant brewing. :)

  10. Thanks for sharing. I am definitely changing my relationship with social media both because it awakens negative feelings and reactions, but also because it takes away time I’d rather spend doing other things. My job doesn’t require me to be online, so I can legitimately step away and nothing would happen. I loved TikTok and a few months ago I deleted it because it was consuming a HUGE percentage of my waking hours. And if I don’t like the person I am with social media, then I agree that it’s important to know when to be more selective with those platforms.

    1. Gabriela: I’m so glad you mentioned the time element! I agree that it’s a huge factor, and I would say it’s not just the actual time on social media, but also any additional time spent thinking about social media interactions when I’m not my best self or when someone’s comment really gets under my skin. I’ve tried to be much more aware of that.

  11. I think there is a real insight in this post and it is an important point to make. I think it shows a real strength of character (of you in this instance but also anyone who makes a decision like this) to internally reflect and to consider what influences their life and what they ‘put’ out into the world. I think this is a point that many people should reflect on – as you say, not for the optics but out of a genuine desire to consider how our actions/thoughts/interactions can affect those around us. Thank you for sharing this. I echo what many others have said – I certainly find you to be a positive and sincere person from the videos I watch and the brief interactions we have had on Instagram.

    1. Thank you, Tom. I really need to reflect on those influences more often and how they are manifesting in me, and I’m grateful for this experience.

  12. Hi Jamey, Hey I congratulate you on realizing that you have choices and limiting what can control you. I personally don’t use Twitter because I get enough social media without it. I find you easily on Facebook YouTube and BGG. I also find you to be a very positive person and I especially appreciate that!

  13. It is inspiring to read your post. I’ve felt reluctance to go on Instagram for a while now. This is because I experience it as chaos, but it is a chaos I created myself. I’m probably a bit like a squirrel that collects nuts, I collect on accounts to follow and it’s become too much. So I’m going to deal with that, think about what I want tog get out of Instagram and only choose accounts to follow that really add something positive to my life. Thanks for a great post. PS My English is bad so I have used Google translate, so I hope for your indulgence.

  14. Most people have filters. It’s like a hand fan people open to hide part of their face, their self, from others. Some people are continuously holding up their fan. Some people don’t have a fan.

    Sure, some people have cause me to lower my fan. Since the past can’t be undone, all I could do was put the fan back up and move on. I kept doing my work professionally and the other people did the same. No one is perfect. I apologized when it was warranted and sometimes the other party never apologized, but who cares?

    I understand why you made your “passive aggressive” tweet, but I question the people who harped on you. I don’t think you statement was passive aggressive. You directly expressed your feelings. You could have been even more direct which would have been more off putting. A passive aggressive statement would have been, “Oh gee, I’m glad YOU were able to share with the world the expansion I worked hard on. Congratulations!” Which does not directly express your feelings and harms the other person verbally by guilt-tripping them.

    There is a social movement in favor with “direct” conversation. It’s more down to earth and enables efficient communication and progress. But in the casual sphere, not the workplace, speaking with filters and not being so direct can soften the blow and help the other party save face.

    The people harping on you had a normal reaction “to stand up for the little guy” against the big publisher. But if they had stood back and let you and the other person converse the issue could have been resolved on its own. And that’s the problem with Twitter. The beauty of time to reflect and consider is lost.

    That’s the problem with the internet in general – it evolved so fast, time to develop etiquette didn’t exist. My parents taught me how to act in person, but no advice for the internet.

    Cheers to you getting off Twitter!

    1. Alaena: I like the idea of the “fan” and how we sometimes hold it up and sometimes not (yet it’s always still us behind the fan).

      I think you’re right that my tweet certainly could have been a lot worse. If I was face-to-face with the person, I may have still expressed that I was hoping to make the reveal. But I would have really tried to be compassionate about it in person and understand that they were just excited to share something they saw a little early, whereas on Twitter my heart sank and my reaction reflected that. On other forms of social media, I’m trying to take more time to reflect before I reply (and sometimes just choose not to reply at all).

  15. That’s online social media in general. It’s all too easy to let the worse side out when you have the protection of being on the other side of a screen. We all tend to behave in a way and say things online that we wouldn’t if we were face to face with someone.

    1. I can see that (though Twitter is the clear pattern for me). As to your point about face-to-face, I try to remember to say to myself before posting anything, “Is this how I would speak to this person face to face?”

  16. I used to plat DC Universe Online. I was good at it. Real good. At times I felt like a celebrity logging in to random messages from people asking if I could help them with content. Or when the creative director would randomly add me to his group to play. This fostered a mentality of superiority in me thay I didn’t like. While I wasn’t being mean to people, if someone disagreed with me and they didn’t have a notable/recognizable screenname, I’d stop talking to them. The justification was, “there’s no need to argue over a video game.” But the mentality is, “This person’s opinion is clearly not as valuable as mine.” It definitely started my path towards quitting online gaming.

    1. Eduardo: That’s impressively self-aware of you! I’ve both experienced and witnessed that too, even just down to the addictive nature of likes–it’s tough to step away from that, and I applaud you for making a positive change.

  17. It’s a shame that more people cannot be as self-aware as you, and do what it takes to make them like they’re at least attempting to be a better person. Thanks for writing this and being the great person & business professional you are!

    1. Thanks Kevin! I feel like I can significantly improve in terms of self-awareness–it’s a process, and I applaud anyone else who is in the same process. :)

      1. Thanks Jamey, thought provoking. Social Media creates a strange vulnerability that’s hard to deal with sometimes. It’s a good reminder to take time out.

  18. Though I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself, good for you for having these insights and using them to make an active decision/change. Unfortunately online discourse has a tendency towards the snark, but this does seem worse on Twitter – probably because it is driven by and drives fast, short, emotive posts that almost actively discourage prior thought and consideration. Rodney Smith talked similarly about “recognising and resisting” the impulse to mock or criticise others’ gaming choices a while back. We’re all imperfect humans though, and it’s okay to feel frustrated or irritated by another’s actions or opinions – what matters is how we manage those emotions: whether the reflexive outward response (Why did you do/say that?!) can be averted by taking a step back, and accepting that while we can’t control or dictate the behaviour of others, we can each change our own for the better.

    1. Togre: I really appreciate this perspective (and Rodney’s). I think taking a step back is universally good advice, and social media–particularly Twitter–presents so few boundaries/reminders to do that (resulting in a much higher level of awareness and restraint than IRL).

    2. I’d love to hear more on this since my own experiences being unable to fit into many online communities due to my anxiety weigh on me. Were these comments by Rodney on a video or podcast somewhere? His video on “hype” really helped me when I was feeling self-conscious about some of my game choices.

  19. Jamey,
    ❣️❣️❣️for today’s post and comments
    (I recently discovered that placing 3 emojis alone on the subject line of text messages—at least on Apple devices—makes them appear super-sized. It’s my new favorite toy.)

  20. I might challenge you in a small way here: when a situation is leading us not to be our best, that’s the kind of situation in which we should practice, with intention, being better.

    The logic is: being our best is easy in comfortable circumstances, and conversely, growth happens when we improve at handling ourselves trying circumstances.

    For me, Twitter has become a good laboratory for this practice, for the same reasons you quit (in practice I created posting and commenting guidelines, and follow them. Writing them down has reified my beliefs about how I should comport myself.

    On the other hand, I have sympathy. We all only have so many hours in a day, and if something isn’t working, often the best thing to do is abandon it.

    1. That’s great advice, Nick! That’s what I’m trying to do: Take these lessons I learned about myself on Twitter and apply them elsewhere (on social media and in real life).

  21. Thanks for sharing this Jamey! I quit Twitter 9 years ago. I’ve realized that I don’t have to follow or read everything. And I don’t wanna spend too much time on social media. There are many platforms but I have just one lifetime. So now I use facebook for my boardgame network, instagram to follow artists and board game publishers, and youtube just to learn stuff that I am interested in.

    As for the other issue: I always try to learn from the situations that reveals another side of me that I haven’t faced before. It gives me an opportunity to get to know and improve myself. Because there is always room for improvement I believe.

    I can imagine that being a public figure already takes its toll. Maybe it’s good to take a step back, analyze the core issue and act on it.

    1. Derya: Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I really like this in particular: “I always try to learn from the situations that reveals another side of me that I haven’t faced before. It gives me an opportunity to get to know and improve myself.”

    1. Thanks Jeff! It definitely takes me lots of practice, and sometimes I regress instead of progress…even more practice and awareness then. :)

  22. I stopped using Facebook because of the toxicity there; I lost lifelong friends in the aftermath of January 6 because of statements made there. I still use Twitter, but have established a presence on Mastodon, which has a culture that seems to limit bullying and other negative behaviors. I may eventually deactivate Twitter, too.
    I don’t use TikTok or Instagram because I want to use fewer platforms. They can take up a lot of time.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Scot. It’s good to hear that Mastodon appears to be a healthier alternative to Twitter.

  23. I also recently deactivated my Twitter account — for the same reason. Why am I able to be thoughtful on Facebook, but not Twitter? Is there a sense of urgency on twitter that doesn’t exist in Facebook, forcing me to go with my knee-jerk response? Does the limitation in characters frustrate me, adding to that urgency and robbing me of being more present? I have no idea. In any regars, I didn’t like who I was on twitter, I didn’t like the stuff I wanted to tweet, and it seemed more an exercise in futile maliciousness than anything good or positive. In the end, it was me tweeting, but there was definitely a difference between “me on twitter” and me anywhere else.

    1. Jeff: You said that perfectly–that’s exactly how I feel! I’m grateful for the realization, as I’m more aware of that part of myself now, and I wish I had realized it sooner.

  24. Thanks for sharing this! These are similar reasons to why I deleted my Twitter account a few months ago, and why I deleted Facebook last year.

    These types of social media are algorithmically designed (whether on purpose or as a natural evolution) to encourage unhealthy behavior, and for many people the benefits are outweighed by the emotional/mental harm.

  25. Good idea removing the enablers. But this feels like a larger issue that should be addressed with a professional therapist. Enablers exacerbate a current negative or self-destructive behavior. They don’t create them. This behavior pattern is prevalent in much of your online and social interactions and if you are not proud of it the best idea would to be seek help to work on it and not “enable it” by placing the blame on something else other than yourself. Acknowledging you sometimes are weak is a good first step. Taking a break from the place, or places, of your weakness is also good. Now seek help to work on it so you can enjoy these spaces. Board games are about finding solutions and sometimes you lose, but don’t just quit because the game is sometimes hard. Take a break, regroup, gather yourself, work on it and try again.

    1. I see where you’re coming from but I respectfully disagree. No therapist needed. At all. Seek, identify, change. Repeat :) I’d argue you’ve even gone a step beyond and encourage your peers to follow suit and join you in your journey.

      You have done exactly what any mental health professional will tell you. In fact, many people don’t even have the ability to self reflect and identify their issues. No human can truthfully admit they don’t have episodes of passive aggression or the like in their lives.

      A therapist cannot make you change. Only you can do that.

      (No hit on therapists or the professional psychiatric community. I just don’t think it’s needed)

  26. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this topic Jamey and I agree with all of your points. I wonder also since you mention that “Marketing is a huge part of my job” if something about this duty/role makes it so that you constantly have to promote not only SM products but also you as a person. For example, I wonder if in people’s minds (including my own) SM is synonymous with you not as a designer but as a person/human and any shortcoming or weaknesses are seen as a reflection of some character flaw. I don’t expect a response to any of these comments and my intention is to understand my own relationship with social media generally and SM by asking how you see it.

    1. I appreciate your response, Adrian. I think you’re right about that association for some people, though thanks to the addition of Joe, Alex, and Susannah, I think Stonemaier is much less about me than it once was (publicly and privately). I view that as a good thing.

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