This weekend I saw Inside Out 2 and watched a commencement speech video by Roger Federer, and both were inspiring reminders about imposter syndrome, choosing joy, and embracing the present.
Let’s start with Federer, as the part about Inside Out 2 is an obfuscated spoiler about the climactic moment in the film.
Roger Federer is one of the greatest tennis players ever, and he recently gave the commencement speech at Dartmouth College. Clips of the speech began appearing in my Instagram feed, and I’m glad they did. Here’s the full speech.
The big reveal at the beginning of the speech is that Federer won about 80% of all singles matches he played in his career, yet he only won around 54% of the total points played. Federer talks about the importance of not dwelling on or overcelebrating the previous point; rather, focus on what you can control: What you do right now.
“When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world, and it is. When it’s behind you, it’s behind you. This mindset is really crucial, as it frees you to fully commit to the next point and the next point after that with intensity, clarity, and focus…. The best in the world are not the best because they win every point; it’s because they know they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it, cry it out if you need to, and then force a smile.”
I think this mindset applies to so many aspects of life, both personally and professionally. It struck me because it’s something I struggle with: I heavily dwell on past mistakes. While I use them as motivation to improve–always in the name of better serving our customers–the dwelling itself isn’t healthy.
This also applies to how we treat others: It is unkind and unproductive to force someone else to dwell on their past mistakes rather than encourage them to be their best self in the present and to lead by example.
Inside Out 2 surprised and moved me in ways I didn’t expect. The observation I’ll share below doesn’t spoil anything from the plot, but it does delve into the emotions that converge at a climactic moment, so you might skip this if you haven’t seen the film (which I highly recommend).
The movie delves into the impact of anxiety and insecurity on how we behave, including the idea that manageable doses can lead to healthy decisions. But if anxiety is left unchecked, it builds to a heartbreaking moment in the film when the character is overwhelmed with this defining statement: I’m not good enough.
I’m not good enough. I don’t belong. I don’t deserve this. These are all aspects of imposter syndrome: Even when there’s evidence to the contrary, you doubt your skills and accomplishments compared to others.
I feel this way all the time, but the film reminded me of an excellent way to break free of cycling into imposter syndrome. At the climactic moment, the character chooses joy (quite literally, as one of the emotions is Joy). She lets go of external metrics of success and of her shortcomings, and instead chooses joy. She chooses it for herself and for those around her.
This really, really struck home for me (I’m not ashamed to say that I cried at this moment), as it’s literally the core mission at Stonemaier Games: We strive to bring joy to tabletops worldwide. Joy is my guide. In those tough moments, I choose joy for myself and for you.
I don’t just mean this figuratively. In those moments when I feel like I’m not good enough, instead of dwelling on that feeling, I can literally reach out to a customer and try to bring a little joy to them (on social media and beyond). While I can’t actually control how someone else feels, it’s the act itself of choosing joy for myself and anyone else that matters.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Federer’s speech and Inside Out 2. How have you learned to live in the moment and to choose joy?
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8 Comments on “Imposter Syndrome, Choosing Joy, and Embracing the Present”
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Hi Jamey,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the emotional side of business and design. This is especially important in a creative profession, because I think it can sometimes be difficult to separate our sense of self-worth from people’s opinions about the things we make. The games (or art, or music, or books) we make are our babies, and it matters whether people think they’re cute or ugly.
When we wrote a mission statement for our own fledgling game company, we also zeroed in on bringing joy to people, so I’m inspired to see that you have the same core mission.
I appreciate what you wrote about connecting positively with customers as an antidote to negative emotions or thought patterns. Are there other techniques or strategies you use to stay focused on this mission on a day to day basis?
Thanks for your comment, Paul! This really resonates with me: “I think it can sometimes be difficult to separate our sense of self-worth from people’s opinions about the things we make.”
As for techniques to stay focused on the mission day to day, for me it’s that I’m constantly asking the question (for decisions big and small), “Does this put our customers first?” (And, related: Is this adding value to others? Is this bringing joy to others?) It’s about them, not us. I guess I could have a little sign on my desk with this question as a reminder, but it’s so engrained in my daily habits that the reminder is rarely needed. If you’re looking for that reminder, write it on a post-it note on your desk and make a little mark on it every time you ask the question. When there’s no more room on the note, you probably don’t need it as a reminder anymore. :)
Inside Out 2 was amazing! I liked it better than the first and considering how much I liked the first one that is really saying something. What Riley goes through at the end of the movie felt so visceral. It is something I am all-too-familiar with. So seeing it so convincingly portrayed on the big screen was both uncomfortable and cathartic. And everything that built up to it including that chilling line “I’m not good enough” really helped to sell the confusing, frightening, but usually hidden moments that can set the stage for that moment.
“Choosing Joy” is important but I think several things happened to bring Riley to the point where she could. Joy and Anxiety’s character arcs are linked (hinted early on when Anxiety tells Joy she’s a fan) and they both end up helping one another learn to let go of micromanaging Riley and embrace the broken parts of her sense of self before Riley was free to choose the Joy as the emotion she needed most in that moment. I know I’m not there yet myself, shame and anxiety are at the core of my identity. I can still experience it from time to time, but for me choosing Joy is effectively wearing a mask… more like Riley does in the first movie or at the beginning of this movie. I need to in order to be successful because even if I’m suffering I can still make other people happy by pretending to be something I struggle to achieve.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and perspective, especially the part about wearing a mask.
I haven’t watched Federer’s speech yet, but I need to. I read something else recently about Michael Jordan being able to stay in the moment.
Maybe it’s my personality, but the end of Inside Out 1 and Joy realizing that she shouldn’t have been suppressing Sadness resonated more with me. Overall I liked Inside Out 2, but it was missing the emotional spark from the first one. But I do like your takeaway.
I think The Bear season 2 season finale also addresses imposter syndrome in a meaningful way.
Thanks Jon! I need to go back and watch the first Inside Out. The sequel also focuses on Joy suppressing bad memories instead of letting them be a part of the vast stew of memories, emotions, and beliefs that comprise a person.
I liked that aspect of the sequel; however, storytelling wise, it didn’t connect with me in a “I’m not crying, you’re crying” way because Joy suppressing all the bad memories was kind of forgotten about until they brought it back up at the end. Versus the two big emotional moments in the first movie. I will have to watch it again though.
While it wasn’t consistently and overtly brought up, I knew that was going to be important. Anxiety’s role takes front and center stage through most of the movie but she was using Joy’s playbook so everything Anxiety did during the second act happened against the backdrop of Joy literally needing to journey to the back of the mind to the mountain of memories she suppressed. It feels like an evolution of the themes from the first movie rather than a rehash or a different direction.
(SPOILERS) The first one definitely had some really poignant moments. Letting go of Bing Bong was sad and the hug during the climax is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on the big screen. Even if though this one didn’t have the same “aww” factor it felt even more powerful to me. Rather than a watershed it’s more of a terrifying emotional rollercoaster with a deep sigh of relief at the end. Scenes from this movie are going to haunt me for a long time whereas the main things I remembered from the first are the ending and the puns.