May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so I just wanted to check in with my fellow creators and ask: How are you? I’m genuinely asking how you’re holding up, and the comments are a safe space for you to answer.
In preparation for this month, I’ve been compiling a few examples from my work life that have helped me be aware of and maintain a somewhat healthy mental state. The way I find peace and happiness may be different than you, but I hope you’re finding your way too.
- Find at least a few minutes every day to do something that truly invigorates you. I love my job, particularly the variety every day brings. But I’ve learned over time that I can go to bed with a smile if I spend even just a few minutes on game design every day. Often the only time I have for design is the 2 hours between dinner and bedtime on non-game nights, and I have to protect that time–it’s all too easy for other work to push into that space.
- Take breaks. Studies show that we’re more open-minded after we take a break. I try to use short breaks during transitions to different tasks. For example, after I finish this blog post, I’ll take a short break to skim through yesterday’s sumo highlights. I also break for meals rather than work through them.
- Choose when to consume criticism. I’ve found that if I’m in a good mood, I tend to be more open to hearing and learning from criticism. The opposite is true if I’m in a bad mood. Due to this, I try to be acutely aware of my emotional state when I’m entering new threads (sometime I can detect the overall tone from the subject line). I literally ask myself, “Is now the right time for you to read this?” If the answer is no, I’ll come back later.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. One of the most self-inflicted damaging things a creator can do is compare their project or themselves to others. I’ve done this far more than I’d like to admit. When I catch myself doing it, though, I actively try to turn it around. Instead of comparing my project to the other one, I spend a little time learning from the other project and celebrating its success.
- Give yourself permission to block/hide/restrict. There’s plenty of constructive criticism out there, and I try to learn from people every day (whether they agree or disagree). However, there are also people who just like to complain, misinform, and troll. For each of those people, I ask if the potential value is worth the emotional and mental burden.
- Set healthy boundaries. Over the years, I’ve learned about the things that energize me and the things that drain me. Sometimes there’s a pretty fine line between the two. For example, I know that I can be “on” for an interview for 20-30 minutes. But it’s downhill after that (plus, I start to feel like I’m neglecting other parts of my job). So I’m happy to say yes to any interview within those boundaries. The hardest part is to then say no when the interview starts to go long–just the other day, we reached the 30-minute mark, and the interviewer said that they had a few more questions. 30 minutes later, we were still going and I was completely drained. So it’s not just about setting boundaries that I know are healthy for me–it’s about sticking to them.
- Spend energy on those who choose you. I really struggle with this. As any creator expands and survives the test of time, for every 10 people who decide to share your passion, there’s 1 person who will vocally and publicly reject it. Any Kickstarter creator knows what it feels like to get pledge-cancellation notifications–we know it’s coming, yet it still stings. Also, what about the creations you spend so much time, effort, and love creating, and no one even seems to notice? In those moments, I really find it helpful to focus on those who do notice–there’s almost always someone who cares. Spend your energy on them.
- Be kind. There’s this wonderful phenomenon of human physiology that if you are kind and helpful to others–particularly in those moments where you’re not feeling good about yourself–your body releases endorphins. Our bodies literally want us to be kind to others. (Also, there’s a wonderful moment in the recent amazing film Everything Everywhere All at Once that really emphasizes this message.)
- Avoid burnout. There’s always too much of a good thing. This is why I’ve found it helpful to always have two creative projects in the works (my own game designs)–the ability to switch back and forth between them prevents me from burning out on either one.
- Play games. I think we all have different reasons for playing games. My friend and DEI consultant Lydia says, “Board gaming can save.” As an introvert, I love the structure that games provide for socialization and conversation. I also love the low-stakes opportunity for creative problem solving in tabletop games. Plus, as a designer and publisher, I’m constantly inspired by the fascinating choices applied to games. I think all of that and more are good for my mental health.
As I started this article, I’d love to know how you’re doing. If you have any tips or examples from your life about how you’re taking care of yourself, feel free to share them in the comments below.
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Also read: Create Something Meaningful to You
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26 Comments on “10 Ways to Be Aware and Supportive of Your Mental Health as a Creator”
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[…] Mental Health Awareness Month. MHAM is a national movement to raise awareness about mental health (see Jamey’s previous blog post on this topic). In reflection of this month, I’m going to share a few ways you can take care of yourself mental […]
[…] my time and energy more on customers who choose our products instead of those who don’t (see #6 on this list about mental health for creators), but I think there are times and key targets to learn from potential customers who decided not to […]
I appreciate your kindness in asking, but I want to know how you are?
Often I think on how very much you do in a given day for your work, the hours, the designs, the dozens of places you scan comments, the interviews, the videos, the blogs, the late hours.
Knowing from my own experience how brutalizing that can be, and it appearing that you put in more longer days than I do (and I’m beyond full time myself), that I sincerely sympathize with you – often from afar, but never thought it an appropriate time to ask.
So how are you? Are you resting well? Are you taking care of your spiritual and mental needs? Are you sleeping?
Through the years we’ve vacillated like any relationship does from more-active to more-distant (mostly my own busyness at fault), though I’ve never lost my gratitude, my fondness, or my appreciation for you. I think well of you rather often over here, and I truly truly hope you’re doing well.
I appreciate you asking, John–that’s very kind of you. I’m doing well! Mostly sleeping well, though Walter (one of my cats) has been waking me up at fairly random times after 6:00–I’d prefer to get up at 7:00. But when I’m asleep, I’m sleeping well. I think I’m doing a decent job of doing most of the things on the list in this article to take care of my various mental/emotional/relationship needs. But it’s always a work in progress! :)
Glad to hear it. I know so many hard workers who forget to rest and/or sleep. #guilty
“Work to live, don’t live to work.” …as they say.
Thanks for your tips, especially the reminder to take breaks and to spend energy on those who choose you.
Three additional things that I’d share, which help me.
First is to know why I enjoy creating games. It’s the visuals. I always try to blend visual work with my other design and development work. Even if what I’m doing is fundamentally pure logic or math, I’ll invest time in quick sketches that help me visualize and emotionally engage with the work. By making the work appealing to the visual side of myself, I can get my whole mind to focus with full energy, which helps prevent burnout and can generate higher-quality work (vs doing the work with only half my heart). Other people take pleasure in different aspects, and I hope that they make sure they include those aspects as much as possible in their work.
Second is to know what makes me feel like I’ve had a good day. It takes a minimum of 15-30 minutes of (1) creative work, (2) learning, (3) socializing, and (4) exercising. I can do without 1 of these 4 and feel like it was a good day; losing 2 or more usually feels bad. I budget my time accordingly. Other people get their energy through other means, and I hope that they can take time for energizing activities.
Third is to set reasonable expectations. When I started as a designer, I didn’t know what to expect, so rejection felt lousy. These days, I consciously go into situations knowing that I might be ignored or worse (used and then thrown out like garbage)–and that it might not be my fault. I remind myself that ***I’m not selling my products to everyone.*** I’ll be happy, when I’m old and gray, if I’ve spent my life bringing meaning and joy to those who would have me. That doesn’t need to be everyone, nor in fact should it ideally include everyone.
BTW, FWIW, my favorite games are all Stonemaier games, and they’ve inspired my work at so many levels… I hope that it brings you some satisfaction to know that you’ve added joy and meaning to my life and to many others.
Thanks so much for sharing this! I really like that you mentioned exercise (in general and in the context of figuring out what makes you feel like you had a good day). I also really like your last point about expectations. I think part of it is about knowing what you can or can’t control. None of us can control if we make a bestselling game. But we can control our ability to make a prototype. I talk about that a bit here: https://stonemaiergames.com/create-something-meaningful-to-you-in-2022/
Thanks, Jamey.
Ive been creating a game for a yr between work, wifes work, and 3 young kids. Ive managed to go slow and steady. Now my prototype is done and im taking my time. When stress gets in the way i think of a stoic quote, “ what stands in the way becomes the way”. So i never lose motivation.
Thanks for the timely reminder, Jamey! Just today I was watching a video of Ryan Laukat talking about the mechanisms in Distant Skies, and I found myself so excited to play it, in awe of it’s elegance, but also feeling imposter syndrome and saying to my husband, “Why do I even try to make games when this exists?”
I really appreciate your reminder to not compare ourselves to others. I want to be better at using those emotions of awe as motivation to do better in my pursuits rather than being discouraged by it.
I’ve felt the same way many times, Skiler. I can’t always turn it into awe and inspiration, but I try. Thank you for relating to that!
Thank you for posting this, Jamey. I’m a mental health counselor as my day job and this is something I’m really passionate about. I definitely find myself comparing myself to others, feeling like I’m not doing enough, and exhausting myself with the amount of work I do in both my professional world and content creation world. I’m a really passionate person who jumps into too many things lol Something that helps me a lot is going to therapy and I’ve been working on feeling okay to saying no to things even if I want to do them. I need my rest like you said and I’ve been working on allowing myself those breaks.
Matthew: Thank you for adding your insights to this discussion, especially given that you’re both a creator and a mental health counselor.
I’d add to focus on the positive comments instead of letting that one negative comment dwell in your mind. (Not to say to ignore all critical feedback, but this is more for the internet trolls / naysayers who don’t provide any good criticism) I could get 500+ positive comments but if one person writes something negative my mind usually gravitates to it and it brings my mental health down. Try to be aware of this and realize that you can’t please everyone.
Wonmin: I agree. It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth striving for.
Hi Jamey,
I just received your book today I ordered about “A Crowdfunder’s Strategy Guide”, and just read this blog in the mail on my smartphone. First of all, the topic is really relevant, and often not spoken of. It pleases me to read the mental health topic. The funny thing happened, I took your book to my son’s school, because he likes to play with his friends in the playground for an extra hour. So, I started reading it, and I was surprised the book was such a page turner for an informative book. Probably because I am running a draft on Gamefound myself, but the crazy thing happened while coming home, checking the mail and reading this blog. I was disorientated to realize I wasn’t reading your book, but actually a new blog on my smartphone. Definitely reading the same person ;-).
Points 1,2 and 10 in your current blog are so important. When you are busy creating games, you easily forget playing other games and see it as a break. It is important not to forget doing the thing that made you become a creator!
And the hardest thing of all. Don’t compare yourself to others… I must say that’s a tricky one. While learning from others, you might feel yourself stranded in a very steep learning curve!
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Thank you, Vincent! I’m glad you found the book to be a page turner. :)
Lord of appreciation for you talking about the important topic of mental health. I have hit a very low point in my mental health, so I have stopped content creation for the time being. It pains me to take a step back, and to not have the time or mental energy to even play games.
I think that being able to take a break and prioritize mental health has been so important to me. I know that once I get a grasp on my health I’ll be able to focus more on my gaming and put a stronger focus on my content.
Thanks for normalizing mental health and it’s importance!
I appreciate you sharing how you’re doing, Mackenzie, and I’m glad you’re taking the time and space you need to prioritize your mental health.
Thank you, Jamey, for discussing this critical topic. Our mental health is so important, and we’re all experiencing additional strain through the past few years. It is so helpful to destigmatize the topic; simply discussing our health can help bolster and improve it. Reflecting on your item 6 (setting healthy boundaries), I think a key component is clearly communicating such boundaries, and most importantly, the WHY of such boundaries, to those you are interacting with. Not only does it help to normalize such topics as normal and healthy factors in our interactions, it prepares the way for when you need to act on that boundary in the future. In a case like you describe, if I make clear to the folks I’m interacting with that my experience tells me there is a time limit for productive interaction, when that time limit hits, nobody is surprised when I announce “last call”, so to speak. Thanks again for all you do to foster such a healthy and engaged community.
Thanks for sharing this, Dan. I definitely agree with the value of communicating the “why” behind our requests and decisions. Though I’d also say that it’s important for us to respect each others’ boundaries without expecting to fully understand the reason behind them.
Agreed! I happen to be an ‘over-communicator’ who wants to prevent confusion through explanation. But I completely agree that everyone has their own comfort level with what they’re willing to share, and we need to respect people wherever they are.
My therapist used a fuel/resource metaphor to help me come to terms with my own mental health challenges. She talked about how each person has a different resource capacity for dealing with the various stresses life sends at us, and we each use our particular resources at different rates in response to different stresses. So something that might wipe me out might be something you don’t even notice as stressful, and vice-versa. That metaphor helped me to not only to better understand my own strengths and weaknesses, but also to not take it personally when someone else didn’t want to receive whatever it was I was offering, or reacted negatively to a situation I found positive.
We are wonderfully complex and interesting people, living in a very complex world, and we all make our way through it in our own way. The more we can accept and respect other people’s boundaries and celebrate their successes, the easier it gets for us to navigate our own path.
I appreciate “Healthy Boundaries”. One of the best skills I’ve learned in the past five years is to tell people “no” when I am unable to do something for them.
Spending energy on those who choose you is something I still wrestle with. As a socialite, it’s hard for me to think that people would prefer against spending time with me (or doing the things I want to do). Realizing this by objectively analyzing my friendships has uncovered some hard truths that have allowed me to slowly readjust my expectations in those friendships.
With that said, I am doing well! Creativity (through board game design and music) is my hobby and not (yet) a career, so it is how I spend my mental currency in my downtime. I tread the line between hobby and career carefully because I know that the passion can definitely fade once it becomes an obligation.
Great post, Jamey!
Thanks Andrew! I agree with the power of “no” (especially when it frees me to say “yes” to things I care the most about).
I really like this: “I tread the line between hobby and career carefully because I know that the passion can definitely fade once it becomes an obligation.”
I originally got into board gaming as a way to help manage my anxiety, and I wholly agree with all of these tips and especially Lydia’s observations. It is a safe space – a quiet space. Somewhere you can focus on just one thing, one decision, one action where the consequences are minimal in comparison to real life. It helps me drown out the noise that can be overwhelming. Thank you for sharing this, Jamey, and for your consideration. I also find going for a walk, however brief, helps. A different view, a breath of fresh air, just time away from a computer screen is good. I have also heard that disc golf is a pretty good way to let off steam! ;)
Thank you for sharing! I love the idea of just focusing on one thing and getting some fresh air away from the computer.