On a recent episode of Survivor, a contestant had a panic attack in the middle of the night. One of their competitors woke up with them, listened to them, and sat with them. It was a beautiful moment that they later recounted: Sometimes you just need someone to sit with you during a difficult time.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing. You don’t need to share anything if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’m here to listen and sit with you.
The thing about mental health is that we all have it. If you’re reading this, you have a brain and all the biology, physiology, and psychology that goes along with it. Mental health isn’t something that “other people” deal with–it’s part of everyone, all the time, and I’ve found great value in trying to be aware of my mental state (and that of those around me).
I had a really good discussion last year with some friends and family about mental health in disc golf. It’s a physical sport–a big outdoor dexterity game–but there’s a huge mental component to it. I can start off a round with an amazing drive and then miss an 8-foot putt, and that has the potential to set the tone for my entire day. We talked about how we try to be aware of those tough moments so our mood doesn’t damage everyone’s experience, as well as how we prefer for others to respond to help us move forward. Everyone had different answers.
Our personal lives can also have a huge impact on our companies and customers. Business doesn’t need to be personal, but I prefer to run Stonemaier Games as a person, not a distant corporate entity. Around 6 months ago I lost my beloved cat to cancer, and it absolutely crushed me. Still does. But it meant the world to me that I have the type of relationship with those who follow this blog and Stonemaier Games to feel comfortable sharing the loss. Biddy might be gone, but he lives on in our games, old videos where he’ll pop into frame, and in my heart.
I’m often the most acutely aware of my mental health during specific moments or incidents, like when I was hacked in March or when my social anxiety kicked into high gear at a friend’s engagement party last year. But it’s also just an ongoing thing: I experience imposter syndrome all the time, and as much as I try to be my best self on the internet, it doesn’t always work out that way.
This month, I’d encourage you to ask yourself about your mental health once a day and how it’s impacting you as a designer, creator, entreprenuer, and person. For better or worse, how is it impacting you and those around you? I’m doing this as well in solidarity with you.
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Also read:
- Your Work Matters
- 10 Ways to Be Aware and Supportive of Your Mental Health as a Creator
- Mental and Physical Health Awareness: A Creator’s Thoughts
- Tabletop Games as an Outlet for My Fellow Introverts
If you gain value from the 100 articles Jamey publishes on this blog each year, please consider championing this content! You can also listen to posts like this in the audio version of the blog.
27 Comments on “Mental Health Awareness for Designers, Creators, and Entrepreneurs”
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One of the things I’ve valued about you, even at the times we don’t see eye-to-eye is how your business is personal to you and how you are relationally oriented. There’s treasure there. Keep at it.
Thank you! I appreciate that.
This a very thoughtful post Jamey. Thank you for it.
I think a lot of people SAY they want to run their business like a person, but not many actually do. People enjoy hiding behind the keyboard, behind the “LLC”, behind the counter at checkout. I appreciate folks like you, Conor of InsideUp and a few others really put themselves out there as human. “Hey, here’s me. Here’s my family. And I really mean it.”
God Bless you and your mental health.
It’s raining here in today (likely where you are as well given how close we are). I hope you can keep it strong today! A great “friday morning” post. Only 7 hours left to go! : ) Hehe.
Thank you, John! I appreciate the opportunity to be human with you. :)
Thank you for posting this, Jamey. As you know I’m bipolar, which has had a huge impact on my life for the last 10 years.
Because of the stigma surrounding mental illness and my fear of losing potential clients, I didn’t talk about it for years, but when I finally did, the reactions were overwhelmingly positive, including yours, Jamey, and I hope you know I appreciate that.
Negative playtest feedback generally doesn’t affect me mentally because after putting myself out there on various projects for 25 years I’ve learned to decouple feedback during development from myself as a person. Well, unless it indicates that so much needs to be changed that it becomes hard to hit my deadline. For everything outside of that, though, I can be rather thinskinned.
On the positive side, I don’t think I would have made my way to a fulltime job in the board game industry if I hadn’t been bipolar because I’ve learned to focus the ups to make me extra productive, goal oriented, and creative.
@Everyone else, I wrote a blogpost about being bipolar some years ago that was intended to help raise awareness of mental illness, help other people understand what it’s like, and let other bipolar people know that they’re not alone. That post was the first time I was public about it. The reactions were a huge relief: It’s the most “liked” post on my blog by far (374 thumbs is a _lot_ on BGG :-)) and I got a flood of good comments. I hope it’s OK to link to that post: http://tinyurl.com/beingbipolar
Morten: I’m honored to know someone who is as brave and vulnerable as you are. Thank you so much fr sharing your journey here and in the blog post.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morten Monrad Pedersen.
My brother is also bipolar and had to grow up in an adverse community and during a period of a lack of disability rights before he finally was able to get the support he needed.
When reached adulthood, he became a master welder – a genius with it, in fact, and was able to astound his educators and proctors for certification by performing welding techniques they thought were impossible to achieve.
There is so much to learn from person with disabilities, and it sometimes takes a mind that has a unique perspective to reach great heights. I have very much enjoyed your automas and have always wondered about the person behind them, so I look forward to reading of your experiences in your BGG post. I also look forward to your next project!
I love your work, Morten and am impressed by all you have created despite your personal challenges. From what it sounds like, you’ve even learned to integrate your personality to positively benefit your creative process! Your journey reminds me of the Aristotle quote, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” How you’ve learned to live with your struggles is a greater victory than publishing the top game on BGG in my book. Cheers, Morten!
That did not rock when Ben had that episode. I wasn’t a huge Kenzie fan initially, but she sure did earn points with me when she comforted him that night. Thanks for raising awareness for mental health, Jamey.
Most of us game designers and indie publishers are introverts because our skills in logic and science are critical in creating a balanced game with interesting decisions, but extrovert skills are often needed when it’s time to share that design with the world. During playtest events, conventions, social media, crowdfunding, and marketing, we often push ourselves to be something we’re not — and it takes a toll if you’re not used to it.
Some of the most challenging mental health moments in my life have come during the “dead zone” of Kickstarter campaigns. If anyone is having a hard time during their game creation journey, I want to make myself available too. If you would like a sounding board, email me at brian@pullthepingames.com and I’ll give you my phone number. I’ve been there before so I bet I can help.
Thank you, Brian. That’s very generous, and I appreciate the insights you provided in this and your other comments on this post.
This is an incredibly valuable, timely, and heartwarming piece, Jamey. Thank you so much for sharing it.
It looks as though a bit of extra code snuck into the links that you shared for your other blog posts – if anyone else is having trouble, I found that deleting the combo of letters and numbers at the end of the links allowed me to get straight to these excellent additional resources. :)
Thanks again for being so open with us. It means a great deal.
Thank you, Carmen! Sorry about that–I’ll revise the links now so they work properly.
Forgot that May was Mental Health Awareness Month. Thanks for the reminder! Glad to open up and talk about this stuff.
Throughout my entire life I’ve had my ups and downs over my own mental health struggles (Major Depression / Moderate Anxiety). Recently, I’ve been in a relatively good place (stable financially, happy relationship-wise, doing better mentally through keto dieting and light exercise) and decided now was the time to try some different anti-depressant / anti-anxiety meds. The goal is to hopefully go from simply “good” to “great” (along with removing some of the negative side effects I experienced from it) — but weaning myself off of stuff I’ve been on for nearly 25 years has been very taxing and difficult the past few weeks (and I can only imagine it will be worse in the upcoming weeks as I finally stop it).
This also happens to be an important time in my game design journey as we’re ramping up testing our physical-digital hybrid board game based on the auto-battler genre and getting ready for external alpha testers. As I’m sure you know, that’s a huge step in the game development cycle where others will see something you’ve been working on for years. Not only is it a lot of work logistically (hooray for mailing lists, spreadsheets, and Discord), but the idea of dealing with potentially critical and negative feedback is very scary.
How do you manage your own mental health and vulnerabilities when doing playtesting and getting feedback from others (especially when it is a game you’ve personally invested years into creating)? What has been the best tips you’ve used in both overseeing everything and also handling negative comments? Any other thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! =)
Stefan: Thank you for talking about this! It’s inspiring to hear you taking steps to go from good to great. You’re right about this being a big step in the development process, and I hope it proves fruitful for you. That’s a great question. For me, a big part of it is finding the right playtesters: Those who express their feedback in ways that are always about what happened and how it made them feel (opposed to something saying, “X is bad”). I also find it helpful to read all blind playtest reports once. I read them, digest them, then let them sit before returning to them. That’s really helped me get the most out of those reports while also taking the time to center myself. Oh, also, while I mostly want to know what to fix, I always ask playtester what they loved so I know what not to change–that’s important for the game (and gratifying for me). :)
First off, I would offer that I wouldn’t hold yourself to any deadlines at this point. It’s not worth stressing about right now. You’ll release your game when you’re ready, no matter if that’s in 3 months or 3 years. Don’t worry about that right now.
Also, I recommend resetting your mindset: Critical and negative feedback is THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. I cannot over-emphasize that. Do not fear it. Seek it! That’s the thing that makes your game better. It’s GOLD!
Once you start thinking in this way, it makes all feedback sessions an exploration and opportunity rather than a validation. That helps you avoid taking it personally. Distance yourself from the game. Even if you designed it… it is not you. It is just a thing you’re trying to make better.
I hope these perspectives will help reduce your mental stress.
Thank you, Jamey, for this invitation for cathartic release! I lost my wife 4 years ago to cancer, and the extended family circumstances surrounding her passing were… let’s just say, not great. In any case, she was my partner in all things, including and to the point of this topic: joint creativity. My art and world-building was greatly supported and inspired by her incredibly unbiased feedback and critique, as well as her unique perspective as a woman who built a career in the education and networking of girls in STEM science. She had supported me though my acquired disability that came with sudden limitations, and kept encouraging my creativity despite my own imposter syndrome. I fortunately have a son who is as much a genius as she was, and has worlds of his own that he’s building. So, though I have lost much (we also agonizingly lost a cat), I have not lost all. My son exists as a legacy of that beautiful partnership with my wife, and I am proud of what he’s accomplished despite roadblocks he’s had to face to get where he is today. He stands at the precipice of a wide future ahead of him, graduating this year with honors. I look forward to the world he builds.
I appreciate you sharing this, Jonathan. That’s a huge loss, but I also hear a lot of pride in the person your son has become. Congratulation on his upcoming graduation!
Thank you. Yes, I am very proud. When they start out, good parents have hopes, dreams , and expectations for their children. But in the end, we come to a point that this person is an individual and the burden of making choices about their future is up to them – we were only essential guides on the way. It’s not for everyone, but if it’s within a couple’s means and inclination, I definitely recommend child-rearing for the expansion and metamorphosis of a family’s love. There is nothing like it, and a balm against adversity when done right.
Thanks for sharing, Jonathan. I know it’s not easy.
I encourage you to find a co-designer, whether it’s your son or someone else. We all need someone to ground us so we don’t go down the wrong path in creating something that is interesting from the game design perspective, but not so much as a game player. The games I would design myself are nothing compared to what I create with my co-designer, Clayton.
Thank you so much, Brian, for your excellent advice. And I have to say my son has a unique grasp on how games work so I will take this into serious consideration and put the idea to him. Any game my wife have played as a family almost invariably ended up with him winning on the first try. I really don’t subscribe to the mantra, “a partnership is a sinking ship,” because it really depends on both the partner, and knowing the kind of person you yourself are and knowing want you want and need out of the partnership for a good fit and better business. I really appreciate watching and learning how you and Stonemaier put together Leaders of Euphoria and the decisions you had to make to get that game into production.
Thank you for sharing this Jonathan.
Loosing a family member is something I can hardly type the notion of, let alone think about in direct terms. My heart goes out to you.
I will pray for you and her, and your son today.
God Bless.
Awesome post. Thank you!
Thanks Abe!
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Thanks, Dorothy. :)
This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.
I’m glad it came at a good time for you!